How I met Jye <3 part 1
Jyes dating profile was a pic of his dog, motorbike and him out in nature. I was so curious about his scar. He looked like he had a story ♡ Ticked all my boxes although i was in deep dark grief from my partner dying.. I didnt want to date anyone. I couldnt even imagine falling in love again. Who would even date a widow i wondered. We are just sad and our humour is dark AF. #widowlife
But I was lonely and i needed new friends who didnt look at me with sadness, scared to ask me how my day is going. I was all about living my life how i wanted. I was angry, chain smoking cigarettes and drinking alot. Hung over often.
I messaged him. He replied and was cool about being 'only friends'. He hoped ild have some friends i could set him up with!
We ended up meeting at the beach to walk our dogs. I had no profile pic on my account so he was dubious but obviously curious coz he still rocked up 😂 I didnt make any effort to look nice coz i really didn't care haha but still he was tripping over himself to get out of the car.
I ended up laughing, alot. Conversations flowed easily. The summer was beautiful again. I spoke mostly of my grief and he just sat so comfortably holding space for me. We met next weekend and did the same. Beach, drinks, ocean swims and so much laughing. I hadnt properly laughed in so long.. i was terrified.. time went on, i was thinking Im still grieving but my heart is racing about this man... Can you love two people? Would it be fair on Jye? Can i give him my full heart knowing ill love Shannon forever? Will Jye want me to stop talking about Shannon? Would Shannon approve of all this?
I cried alot. Scared of judgement but wanting to be true to my heart. I told myself we can die anytime so fuck everyone and follow your heart.
To be cont.
#widow #relationships #onlinedating #grief #loss #love #naturelovers